“There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others and smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticise love like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.”
– Emery Allen
I’m a sucker for a good quote and fell in love with this one instantly. Pass the sick bucket, this is gonna be ultimately cheese….
I think it’s incredibly important for anyone to spend time by themselves. There’s a fear in being alone, and a safety net comes hand in hand with a partner. There’s so much pressure in society on dating, marriage and finding your ‘Prince Charming’ (and all other types of ‘other halves’), that people forget the importance of solitude, and that it’s perfectly okay standing on your own two feet, thinking for yourself and achieving your own accomplishments and dreams.
“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.” — Carrie Bradshaw
Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely to sit and daydream about the hot guy you just served at work, but to pursue romantic love all the time is exhausting and we lose sight of the other life and kinds of love around us. I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately, and how important it is to give love, kindness and happiness, but how it doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic love to give you that similar sense of fulfilment and joy.
Recently I’ve found that self-love and investing my time and energy in my dreams and passions has been extremely positive and rewarding. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I have an achievable purpose and aim for my life. There’s so much excitement, and so much achievement due to me and everything I’ve done for my own life. I know more than ever what I want from life and what I don’t want, and feel pretty positive and able to remove myself from toxic or unwanted situations and people.
Even my social media has changed. Having a clear out and detox of my twitter, facebook, instagram and even my contacts, felt like one of the best spring cleans everrrr. No longer am I following hoards of random people, silly celebrities and people who would never intend on even waving at me across the street (but love to have a nose!), and instead, I’ve found my interests and narrowed my passions by stuffing my feeds with intellectuals, organisations, volunteer groups and people that I care about, people who inspire me on every level. Along with the odd food pages. Obvs.
Anyway, my point is explore yourself and your life, and pursue every single interest that comes to mind. Sit down and decide what you really want, what gets you out of bed in the morning, the things that make you smile and the dreams you have in life. Then remove all the shit that if it disappeared tomorrow, you wouldn’t notice. Delete all the tinder hook ups, toxic friends and nonsense celebrities, and feel that weight fly off your shoulders. Decide what and who you want to be and do it for you, then own it. Be clever in your interactions and fill your life with all kinds of love and everything that really matters to you, instead of forcing things to fit because that’s what other people are doing or because society says so.
This post is 110% my cheesiest and ones I hate the most, but there’s power in positivity and self-love is the most important love, and I feel full of it all right now….
And here’s a bunch of quotes I love too….
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as an escape.” — Bell Hooks
“Here is my wish for you and every other child, woman, and man on the face of the earth: Spend one week saying only kind, caring things to yourself. Say thank you at least ten times an hour, direct five toward yourself and five to the world at large. Compliment yourself (and others) each time an effort is made. Notice all the wonderful qualities and characteristics about yourself and those around you. One week. You will never go back. And your whole life will be a glorious meditation.” — Cheri Huber
“Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible”. – Bridgette Caudill
“Decide. Is this the life you wanna live? Is this the person you wanna love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breath in. Breathe out, and decide”. – Meredith Grey